Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Lousy With Colors

I admit that I am not good with colors. I have an 8 Crayola box view of the world. My wife, on the other hand, is the 64 Crayola box with the sharpener. Before I got married I did not realize that I looked good in earth tones. My style was Washington, D.C boring: navy, black or gray suits with white shirts and some variation of red tie because it could easily go with either of the three colors of suits. My casual clothing consisted of either jeans or a light blue oxford with khaki pants (my wife called this the uniform). The fact that this wardrobe is probably worn by a majority of straight men in Washington, D.C. was not justification for its continued existence.

My wife usually picks out our 2 year old daughter's clothes for the day. This morning, however, she forgot. I, therefore, had to dress my daughter without adult supervision. I picked out pink pants with white flowers and a pink shirt which also had flowers of various colors on it. They were different shades of pink but it looked close enough to me. I am sure the trained eye will tell you the clothes were fuchsia, magenta or something like that. My brain does not compute such concepts. When my wife called me she realized she did not lay out my daughter's clothes and asked me what I dressed her in. I gave her the description of the clothes and then she asked me if I wanted to burn out people's retinas. Having memorized my daughter's entire wardrobe, she immediately told me to change the shirt to the white Lands End mock turtleneck in the second drawer on the right.

Clearly, I am not going to be writing for GQ or Vogue anytime soon.


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